Why Do We Hold On To Things That We Should Let Go Of?

There's an adage among primatologists on how to capture a monkey in it’s natural habitat. You place a bottle full of peanuts in the middle of their territory and wait for an ape to come along and attempt to retrieve the nuts, as a result of them clenching their fist they are unable to remove their hand from the bottleneck. The primate will not let go of the nuts, because they are unable to conceive that in not letting go of something desirable, they are possibly going to face a worse outcome. At this point the primatologist can swoop in and capture the monkey.

One piece of life advice, do not be that monkey.

In the bible, it is stated that Moses led the Jews away from the slavery and tyranny of the Egyptians and into the promise land. What isn't quite as well known is that before they reached the promise land they were condemned to a period of time in the desert, searching for refuge and some form of reprieve from their newly discovered sense of despair and desperation. At certain points the Jews even pleaded with Moses to return to the Egyptians as slavery was more bearable than their current situation.

So what is significant about this parable and what is the message embedded within it?

I believe that the message being conveyed is that the reason we do not let go of pernicious or damaging ideas, relationships, habits etc, is that in order for us resurrect ourselves from the ashes, we must first take a trip through the desert and face the impending doom that may accompany it. This is unsurprisingly something that we can be somewhat uninclined to do, hence the saying ‘the devil you know is better than the devil you don't’.

It is evidently difficult to relinquish the grip that we may have on things that we know are ultimately damaging us. It can be a long and arduous process, where the payoff may be considerably delayed. It can also be complicated to decipher when something needs to be released, as opposed to explored further and more deeply.

We are fundamentally creatures of habit, habits develop to maintain stability and stasis in our psyches, even when they are damaging. But ideally we will all endeavour to cultivate our ability to let go of that which is holding us back, even if we know that a period of pain will ensue.

That is how we develop and progress as individuals and as a society.

Until next time,

OxJ